Really! Who is Tawana??

Am I the sweet and innocent lady everyone thinks I am? 

Am I the happy girl that always has a smile on her face?

Am I that girl that has a perfect relationship with her mom?

Am I the girl that's on fire for The Lord and lives in Gods will?

The answer to these questions is NO!

I am human  just like you are. I get angry, sad, and i even yell.

I cry in private so no one knows what I'm going through from day to day.

I get in arguments with my mom. I fuss at her (not to her face lol). I am sometimes rude to her.

I'm saved but I do fall short. Just because I shout or speak in tongues, doesn't mean I don't struggle with my flesh.

Sometimes I struggle with lust, cussing, drinking, and lying! 

This is who Tawana is!

But I refuse to remain this way!

God has a plan for my life and I'm working on being a better person in Him!

This is who Tawana is also!

I'm a child of God, a chosen vessel, a living testimony to what God can and will do!

Pray that God's will be done in my life and I'll do the same for you!

God is My Source

Last night, I was paying some bills online and budgeting what I would have left for rent. I was looking at how much money I would have after my tithes and offering plus the bills I just paid. So I was thinking will I have enough money for my rent. If not, how am I going to get the money?  I was dead wrong for saying "how am I going to get it?" God has spoken to me time and time again about trusting Him and that He is my source. I can't make money all by myself. I have to do with God's help. Even Jesus said he could do anything by himself with the Father within Him. So what I am I worried about, God has already told me that He will take care of me and all I had to was ask.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you shall find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him that knocks, the door will be opened." -Matthew 7:7-8.
So I'm going to ask Him to be my source of more than enough!
I'm going to seek God so that I can find Him and have a better relationship with Him.
I'm going to knock on doors of opporutnities for a job, a better relationship with my beau, and a better communication with people so I can tell them about Christ!


GOD, YOU ARE MY SOURCE OF MORE THAN ENOUGH AND I TRUST YOU!!!

The Day I Became A New Woman

The day I did my Big Chop (March 9, 2010) was the day I became a new woman. After doing this, I felt like I wanted to better myself physically, mentally, and spiritually. It even made me feel like wanted to better my relationship with my beau. Everyone wants to know why I did it. Well, I did it for me. I did it for my health. I did it for my relationship with God. I did it for my sanity. I did it for my future with my beau. I thank God for my Big Chop! Looking forward to find out more about the new Tawana.

Why do I put up with this? There is something better, isn't it? I don't know. I want you to treat me like the queen I am. Cause I am a QUEEN!

When All is Said and Done...

Life’s too short to be lukewarm,

This is I know, this I know.
Jesus You can have it all
My every breath,
My every breath.

I need Your power to live this life,
This I know, this I know.
I can’t do this by myself;
You’re Christ in me
My only hope,
My only hope.

As I walk this broken world,
Tune my life to heaven’s song
For I am Yours.
And when all is said and done,
Tune my life to heaven’s song
Forevermore.
                              - Priscilla Lim Shan Pheng.

What should I do with my life???

 Graduation is coming up really soon and I don’t know what to do. I do have some idea of what I want to do. One thing I definitely know is that I DO NOT want to be at SmartStyle for the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong I love my costumers and the people I work with but I want to work when I want to work. Maybe I'll work full time in the summer but who knows. I really want to work in the public school system as a teacher's assistant. The way the school board is laying off teachers and TA's, looks like I don't have a chance. So I was thinking about going back to school for Hotel and Restaurant Management. I love the costumer service part of the business and I love hotels. I'll try that out. And if that doesn’t' work, I always have hair to fall back on.

Is this real??

Is what we have really real?
Or am I just going through the motions?
Are you really supposed to be with me?
Are you everything I want?
Will we grow into what I have always dreamed?
I know I can't change you but God can.

Should I wait until you change?
Or does God have something else for me?
Until I know I'm going to keep praying that God will show me the way.

I love you and always will.
But is being with you forever in God's will?
I pray for the day when i can get a clear answer.
Maybe God has already given me answer and i'm not paying attention.
I'm so confused.......

IS THIS REAL????